I've lost many friends and to those who i have and haven't lost. I'm sorry for my actions. I'm sorry for pestering, for asking so much, ADHD ( http://tinyurl.com/lzj8qd ) does not really help with this matter when being talked to and asking for things. I'm like it sometimes when talking to people outside of computer land.

I don't want the "popularity" because I'm not popular. Because of the bad things that have happened in the past people continue to spread these experiences to everyone i speak to. I'm not the same. I'm sorry for all the inconvenience. The Annoyance of my presence and asking for too much when i get carried away.

I'm probably going to take a break for a while to let the negativity from others to me dissipate.

I get ignored because of thing like this, I'm pretty sure. I probably shouldn't get so worked up about it on SL and in general. But being ignored is one of the worst feelings ever, I've had some friends tell me that i should get so worked up about and cry because that's how it makes me feel.

I know that people would rather talk about me to others than to me about negative experiences and actions from me. It would be nice if we could sort things out and become neutral or comfortable with me again. Though i am not very good with words and i repeat myself a lot when in such situations, so try not to overwhelm me with much negativity else i just can't get out the right responses.

I know I've done wrong in the past and i know I've not been nice to some people and that i could come off "high and mighty" but I'm not I'm just hesitant talking to new people, Yeah I'm sure some are thinking I'm completely different to artists, but I'm not, I talk to people who are not artists and we are good friends. Some do not understand why people continue to spread things about me, i know people do because people tell me.

I've had my fair share of people impersonating me and giving bad experiences to others I've not even met yet. So unless you've had some talk with me before, either through notes, PM's or mail. I'm not going to poke you on a messenger or otherwise without asking you first.

I'm sure to some of the people who are reading this are taking this as a "Emo" "Baaaw" Or "Wtf" journal/explanation like this. Though to the people i know that do not understand as to why people would do this, then it's because of past actions causing current repercussions.

I'm not perfect, no one is. Everyone has flaws. Especially me, so I'm sorry. I appreciate everything everyone has done for me. I still care and for those who enjoy being around me and talking with me in general.

Don't know if any of this makes sense.

Christy.10 Comments