Eka's Portal Writing Group - December 2009

[4ofSwords]

December is now OPEN!

The EPWG is a casual monthly topic for authors to post short stories or portions of larger stories and get guaranteed feedback. Everyone is welcome to participate! Authors who submit a story any given month are asked to read and comment on the three stories that are assigned to them that same month, but you don't have to be an author to read and give feedback, and authors don't have to limit their feedback just to the stories assigned to them. You can check out the guidelines for participation here, and you can participate in the discussion surrounding the EPWG here, if you'd like.

Authors of all skill levels and interests are welcome (see the guidelines for details); please just make sure you do your best to proofread your submission, and make sure it in some way is related to vore or endo, given the nature of this site.

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Need a little inspiration to help you get started? How about participating in this month's challenge?

Since this month includes the 12 days of Christmas, the challenge for this month is: The Gift! There are a lot of ways to spin this idea - any of them popping into your mind?

Remember, the challenge is completely optional - you are free and encouraged to post a story that has nothing to do with this month's challenge.

DEADLINES:
All submissions for December must be posted in this topic by 11:59pm, Thursday, December 10th.
All critiques for December must be posted in this topic by 11:59pm, Thursday, December 31st.

- - - - - - -

The round is closed to new submissions! Here's who's playing this month!

Title/Summary: "Ambassadors of the Flesh, Part 4: Smoked Piglet." One of the ambassadors goes to a lesser noble's estate, deliberately to be prepared as a "Smoked Piglet." The experience is of course to be only temporary and non-fatal, just an exciting experience. However something rather more sinister ends up happening... all is not what it seems in Galupados society.
Rating and Classification: M/F sex (quite a bit) and Soft vore, Frogman/woman. Semi-willing. Cooking preparations. (As of this posting there is no vore yet, just preliminaries to the cooking. The cooking itself will be non-fatal and the vore will be non-bloody).
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=20296&p=571411#p571336

Title/Summary: Peer Pressure. Sam, a confused youth who has recently moved to a new town, looks to a gang for acceptance by going through both rigorous, and dangerous situations. Will he succeed, or fail? This story is one out of four of a series in my "Short Stories Collection 1".
Rating and Classification: M/F, Soft Vore, Same-size, and digestion.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=20296&p=571411#p571111

Title/Summary: "Tales of the Vampiress, Tale One" - Okay this is a rewrite of last month's "Reformation", but the former story is only one scene of this short story about a vampiress making a decision about a young woman that shows promise but life has not been good to.
Rating and Classification: Vampire vore; F/F, F/M; some violence; erotic, no sex; human; and of course: Blood ^^ *nudges 4ofSwords, smirking*
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=20296&p=571411#p570924

Title/Summary: Chapter 5 of The Many Deaths of Samish! In which Lara tries to show Sam a "good time" by taking him to a costume party ...with a twist! For those of you who haven't read any or all of the chapters up to now, the summary is in the spoilers below at the bottom of this post. By the way, each of the Samish chapters are an homage to some vore story or character I've really enjoyed. One gold star to the first person to guess who the star of this chapter is meant to resemble!
Rating and Classification: Oh, this one's the worst one so far. I'm depraved. This one has graphic description of both sex and rip-and-tear hard vore, though the first is smeared across the whole story like too much jam on toast, and the latter is just a couple of paragraphs at the end, like ripping off that band-aid in one pull. If you don't like my similes, you won't like this story. It's rated NC-17 for egregious simile usage.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=20296#p570856

Title/Summary: Woodstone: Monday. A slightly rambling exploration of a world where vore is accepted according to strict social convention. Set within a British boarding school, follow our hero Cotton as he experiences predatorial mercy, which is no real kindness. Contains no fewer than three catgirls, varying from curious and aloof to psychotic and voracious. (Old story I want to finish, based loosely on kevinandkell.com's setting.)
Rating and Classification: Very heavy oral vore discussion. F/m onscreen.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=20296#p568082

Title/Summary: The Many Journeys of Ian Scranton, Chapter 5: Overkill
A new, powerful enemy launches a genocidal attack on the Silurheans
Rating and Classification: FFF/M, Soft Vore, Extra Soft Vore, and Unbirth. Mass destruction.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=20296#p564667

[4ofSwords]

To enter this month, just read the first post to make sure you know what's going on, and fill out a copy of this template in your own post!

Instructions: Copy or quote this post when you post your submission. Everything in bold should stay, and everything not in bold should be deleted or replaced. Attach your submission as an .rtf or .doc or .txt or .pdf, or post a link. If you link off-site, make sure it's publicly accessible (no password-protection) and isn't swarming with ads or is poorly-formatted.

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Answer with how you prefer to be called in posts. (Example: 4ofSwords)
Your writing library URL(s): (Example: http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=102910)
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? (They're only 1127 words. Consider them good preparation for your reading assignment.)
In particular, have you read the part about providing meaty comments (at least two or three good paragraphs, and try to answer the author's questions, if any) on the three stories you're assigned, and do you agree? (This is the heart and soul of the reading group - it's important.)
Have you proofread your own story? (Yes is the only good answer!)

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Let us know a little something about the story. Make this part compelling to help you get readers! (Example: Spider Woman. She's a science experiment gone wrong. He's from some shadowy government agency. He … err, the other 'He'... is dinner! Lust, intrigue, and plenty of spidery vore and cocooning!)
Word Count: Give an accurate, discrete, positive integer. There is no hard limit to word count, but stories assigned readers aren't responsible for more than the first 2000 words or so, and stories over 5000 words should be considered for breaking into smaller chapters.
Rating and Classification: Let us know what kind of vore and how much. Be sure to let us know if there is sex, gore, scat, digestion, etc., since those tend to be the major touchpoints. (Example: Rated “R” for descriptive nudity, sexiness, and naughty words. Contains F/M spidery (oral/vampiric) vore.)
Type of Critique Preferred: Do you want it harsh or gentle? In-depth, or impressionistic? Are you looking for the reader to pay special attention to technique, or to grammar, or to style? (Example: Harsh/honest critique is preferred. Tell me what you liked or didn't, or what took you out of the reading experience. Specific examples preferred.)
Questions for the Readers: If there's anything in particular you want the reader to think about or answer, here's your chance! (Example: Was her monologuing a bit much?)

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: Tell us what you'd prefer to read or not to read. (Example: I like sentient female preds. I dislike scat, pain, and cockvore. I will read anything from Pokemon fanfic to the scenes that make Larry Flint blush.)
Critiquing Style: What kind of a critic are you? (Example: I'm a pretty harsh critic who is easily hung up by bad spelling and punctuation. I'm handy at suggesting alternative wording/plot points, etc.)

Don't forget to attach your writing!

[Jacquelope]

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Le Jacquelope, aka Le Jacque Attacque
Your writing library URL(s): http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=174614
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes
Have you proofread your own story? Yes

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: The Many Journeys of Ian Scranton, Chapter 5: Overkill
A new, powerful enemy launches a genocidal attack on the Silurheans

Word Count: 5474

Rating and Classification: FFF/M, Soft Vore, Extra Soft Vore, and Unbirth. Mass destruction.

Type of Critique Preferred: Show no mercy - better you guys than my readers.

Questions for the Readers: What do you think of the story's pacing?

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: I prefer human/elf/fairy female preds but will tolerate furries. I absolutely avoid stories with underaged participants. I prefer to avoid scat and yaoi but if I'd rather read that than any underaged stuff. I'm a father of three, ya know!

Critiquing Style: I'm a big picture guy. I tend not to bother with spelling errors unless they're way too numerous or really distracting. Except for my stories - if you see them then please tell me!

This story can be found at: http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=174810

[4ofSwords]

Just a reminder that counting today, there are only three days left to get an entry in for December! (I need to get cracking.)

[4ofSwords]

By request, the deadline for submission will be pushed back from Monday the 7th to Thursday the 11th! Hopefully that will give a few more people time to get a story up! I'll push back the comment deadline as well, but just until Dec 31.

[KavenBach]

Phew! That WILL help! See my entry for the EPVT finals is due for the 9th as well... and I went and procrastinated a little *too* much this time around...

You guys will probably have chapter 4 of Ambassadors of the Flesh, assuming I can get it done. It's not meant to be long, but... who knows...

[4ofSwords]

Excellent! We may just meet our minimum criteria of 4, then!

You know though, KB - you could always post the first portion of chapter 3 - say the first 10k words or so?

[KavenBach]

The beginning of chapter 4 includes a very brief synopsis of Chapter 3... so the reader will have an idea what transpired before, if not any of the details whatsoever. Besides, by 10,000 words the four active characters are still very much in foreplay mode and there's little if any vore to speak of. In fact while the entire chapter is written with a cooking theme, I think the only actual vore is in the first paragraph... everything else is bondage-sex-death.

Besides, I don't feel right posting just a portion of a chapter...

[Sehnsucht]

Big thanks to the inestimable 4ofSwords for starting and running the EPWG. It's been a lot of fun! Here's an old one I want to finish, and if I do so because of this group, I'll be chuffed. This in addition to the new pieces I've written for it, and the new authors and stories I've had the pleasure of reading. It's expanded my horizons*, which is more than I had hoped for. Thanks again to 4ofSwords, and to everyone who's made this group a success. May it once again reach critical mass in the near future

* Or should I say, vorizons**.
** No, I shouldn't.

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: London. Andrew London.
Your writing library URL(s): EPWG is my home (although I'm certainly considering requesting a gallery).
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes I have.
In particular, have you read the part about providing meaty comments (at least two or three good paragraphs, and try to answer the author's questions, if any) on the three stories you're assigned, and do you agree? Particularly this bit.
Have you proofread your own story? Yes is the only good answer!

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Woodstone: Monday. A slightly rambling exploration of a world where vore is accepted according to strict social convention. Set within a British boarding school, follow our hero Cotton as he experiences predatorial mercy, which is no real kindness. Contains no fewer than three catgirls, varying from curious and aloof to psychotic and voracious. (Old story I want to finish, based loosely on kevinandkell.com's setting.)
Word Count: 6052. A long one for me! This was written before EPWG (some time ago) so doesn't have the sharp focus of the other stories I've posted here.
Rating and Classification: Very heavy oral vore discussion. F/m onscreen.
Type of Critique Preferred: I'm pretty proud of this one, so am likely to have missed more than I think. Please be honest, with examples where appropriate! I want to root out any childishness and laziness in my writing. In this story, I'm after big picture comments on whether the setting grabbed you, whether the characterisation was good, and so on. How did it feel?
Questions for the Readers: (No need to answer all: they're for inspiration.) Did you get a clear image of a boarding school (as opposed to an American high school, which was the original setting (which was odd, since I've never been to one))? Who do you think should eat Cotton? Rita, Sam, someone else, or no one? Did my subtle hints that Sam idolises Rita (and hence resents Cotton) come through? Does Cotton seem too docile after he's caught? It seems to me that the latter half is more grown up than the first. Do you get this? Is it distracting? Which do you prefer? If your imagination has run on ahead, where would you like this story to go?
Edit: additional question: would you be terribly put out if I removed the bird and merged the sequel (which no one's seen yet anyway) with what's left to produce a shorter, sharper story?

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: Hit me.
Critiquing Style: Wordy and courteous. I'll do my best to answer your questions. I tend to assume that if you find the perfect wording for every sentence then the plot will take care of itself, because I'm a nerd.
Don't forget to attach your writing!
Done!

Edit 1: additional question.

[Gentle_Grounds]

Nice, thanks "4ofSwords" for the push back. I have an errand to run at the university, and then I'll commute an hour back home, perhaps, two hours, because of rush hour. Then I will contribute a writing (finally, I know). Though I'm unsure which one as I'm down to two stories, or should I write a brand new one to turn in. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Also, may you clarify "Gift" as in what the challenge is?

[4ofSwords]

<grin> The challenge is only that - it doesn't really have to follow that theme. But if you want to, feel free to follow it in whatever way it inspires you - perhaps the prey is a gift to the pred, or perhaps the act of vore is a gift from the pred to a willing prey, or perhaps something else entirely!

It looks like I needed this extension, too - I'm nowhere near ready to post chapter 5 of Samish.

[4ofSwords]

Nice to see you back, Mr. London! I hope marriage is treating you well!

[Sehnsucht]

It's a pleasure to be back, Mr Of Swords! Marriage is a decent establishment. I might continue to try it for a few more years.

[4ofSwords]

Well, for those of you who requested it, this is it! Today is the day to get in your literary masterpieces! (or literary journeyman work? or even literary attempts are fine, really)

[4ofSwords]

Ugh. Chapter 5 of the Many Deaths of Samish was always the one I was least happy with before the edits, and I think it is after the edits, too. Something about the pacing, or the grammar, or inconsistent use of punctuation, or maybe just drying up the well of different ways to portray sexual vore. But, I'm out of time, so here goes:

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Cuatro de las Espadas
Your writing library URL(s): http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=102910
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Si
In particular, have you read the part about providing meaty comments (at least two or three good paragraphs, and try to answer the author's questions, if any) on the three stories you're assigned, and do you agree? Si
Have you proofread your own story? Si

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Chapter 5 of The Many Deaths of Samish! In which Lara tries to show Sam a "good time" by taking him to a costume party ...with a twist! For those of you who haven't read any or all of the chapters up to now, the summary is in the spoilers below at the bottom of this post. By the way, each of the Samish chapters are an homage to some vore story or character I've really enjoyed. One gold star to the first person to guess who the star of this chapter is meant to resemble!
Word Count: 10,074 words. At 2500 words you'll be 4 pages in, right about where Sam stumbles on the orgy upstairs.
Rating and Classification: Oh, this one's the worst one so far. I'm depraved. This one has graphic description of both sex and rip-and-tear hard vore, though the first is smeared across the whole story like too much jam on toast, and the latter is just a couple of paragraphs at the end, like ripping off that band-aid in one pull. If you don't like my similes, you won't like this story. It's rated NC-17 for egregious simile usage.
Type of Critique Preferred: Spank my literary ass with a meat cleaver. Tell me all the bad details - spelling, grammar, plot, punctuation, characterization... Oh, and if you notice something you like, might as well tell me that, too!
Questions for the Readers: Was the baddie in this chapter written in such a way that it made her easy to identify with her inspiration, but not a total ripoff? Too much sex? Does this chapter redeem Lara a bit, or just make her less likeable? Do the drive-by mentions of futurisms work to imply that the story is moving into sci-fi territory without dwelling too long on them?

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: I read what is written.
Critiquing Style: I am a bastard, but I try to be a nice bastard.

Don't forget to attach your writing!
Done!

Previous chapters summary:

Spoiler: show

• Chapter 1: Sam, a 20-something newlywed with a goldfish memory, is given the chore of cleaning out the basement by his equally 20-something wife, Lara. He gets early relief from his chore by a sweet-talking plant monster who know more about Sam than he does himself, including how wonderfully delicious he is. Sam is eaten.
• Chapter 2: Sam, a 20-something stay-at-home husband, is taken on a hike-and-hump by his 30-something wife, Lara. Lara sends him to the river to fill the canteens, where he meets a charming water goddess/naga who likes to nibble with her envenomed fangs. Sam is eaten.
• Chapter 3: Sam, a 20-something sugarbaby, is left behind by his 35-something wife, Lara, as she leaves on a business trip. Rather than leave Sam to his loneliness, Lara matches him up with an RP buddy on everyone's favorite vore site. Sam's new friend, an insatiable alligatoress online, shows up at his house to reveal herself as an insatiable alligatoress in person. Sam is eaten.
• Chapter 4: Sam, a 20-something creature of flesh and blood, finds himself in another dimension - one of the 17 hells, to be precise - at the mercy of a slathering daffodil-cum-Lovecraftian goddess. She explains that she's farming Sam for his memories, for a portion of his soul. Sam is eaten.

[Imrhys]

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Imrhys
Your writing library URL(s): http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=178779
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes
In particular, have you read the part about providing meaty comments (at least two or three good paragraphs, and try to answer the author's questions, if any) on the three stories you're assigned, and do you agree? Gladly yes
Have you proofread your own story? I think I have spent more time proofreading then it took to write it >_>

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: "Tales of the Vampiress, Tale One" - Okay this is a rewrite of last month's "Reformation", but the former story is only one scene of this short story about a vampiress making a decision about a young woman that shows promise but life has not been good to.
Word Count: Word calls it, 6,600
Rating and Classification: Vampire vore; F/F, F/M; some violence; erotic, no sex; human; and of course: Blood ^^ *nudges 4ofSwords, smirking*
Type of Critique Preferred: Now I could say I'm still bruised and battered after last month's grilling, but that flesh rending brutality rebuilt "Reformation"! Grammar, mah, your choice; big picture? this is my biggest concern; sentence structure, wordiness, visual cues, descriptive detail <- hammer away, those are my weaknesses.
Questions for the Readers: Now 4ofSwords gave me the greatest advice I have ever seen on how to open, so that is my biggest question mark: Does the opening hook the reader, first in interest to read on; second, drawing the reader into my world? After that, sentence structure, wordiness, descriptive detailing. If I don't have some improvement on these... rip me apart on these, these are what this fledgling writer needs improvement upon.

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: Not a fan of excessive gore because I have too vivid an imagination, IF it is too RL. Fantastic stuff, I love. M/M is iffy. I can handle unconventional and all things, though weak on oral vore and breast vore as having never rp'ed BV. I can honestly take almost anything and I have been reading fantasy and science fiction for a long time. Parting comment, I have a really really hard time grasping submissive or weak male prey, just call it a personal flaw, but as in all things: if it is written well, I will read it :3
Critiquing Style: I will run at the mouth as long as you'll let me, and thanks to always being the oldest and now having kids, I tend to preach >_> Kick me off my soap box if I get bad, I'm used to it by now!

Don't forget to attach your writing! http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=180265

[KavenBach]

*blinks* Oh my. I thought we had until tomorrow... seems you put "Thursday" accurately but you said "the 11th" and that's what threw me.

I got an extension on the EPVT but still have like 3 things going at once... is it okay if I post what portion of the tale *IS* completed by tonight, and update it with the completed version in the next 2 days? Technically that's directly against the rules as I recall (completed works only)...

[4ofSwords]

*blinks* Oh my. I thought we had until tomorrow... ^^

Since it's Sandy Claws month and everything (and oh, um, cause I wrote the wrong date), if you can fill out your form today so I know who I can and can't assign it to (though this looks like another slim month for participation), then just go ahead and revise your post by Saturday to include the attachment, that will work!

[Gentle_Grounds]

Your name: Gentle_Grounds
Your writing library URL(s): http://www.aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=155825
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes.
In particular, have you read the part about providing meaty comments (at least two or three good paragraphs, and try to answer the author's questions, if any) on the three stories you're assigned, and do you agree? Yes.
Have you proofread your own story? Yes.

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Peer Pressure. Sam, a confused youth who has recently moved to a new town, looks to a gang for acceptance by going through both rigorous, and dangerous situations. Will he succeed, or fail? This story is one out of four of a series in my "Short Stories Collection 1".
Word Count: 5,544 words. No chapters, just a short story.
Rating and Classification: M/F, Soft Vore, Same-size, and digestion.
Type of Critique Preferred: Go all the way, but be respectful. I know there are grammatical errors. It's my struggle that I fight to overcome on a daily basis.
Questions for the Readers: Was the narration correct (Sam being the focus for the main character)? Were the characters believable? You can come up with anything else if you like to answer that I can't think as a question. The first question is the most important to me.

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: M/M, F/F, M/F, F/M, Soft Vore, Same Size, Digestion, less than 4000 words.
Critiquing Style: I tell it like it is, and don't hold back. However, I'm respectful, and try to be as helpful and considerate as possible. Grammar and spelling are not my pet peeve, as long as the errors don't distract me from reading.

[Gentle_Grounds]

Ironic. I spelled, Pressure wrong.