Eka's Portal Writing Group - Sept 2009 - All Submissions In!

[4ofSwords]

Ah, September! The month where creative naming falls by the wayside and the Romans just started using numbers.

The EPWG is a casual monthly topic for authors to post short stories or portions of larger stories and get guaranteed feedback. Everyone is welcome to participate! Authors who submit a story any given month are asked to read and comment on the three stories that are assigned to them that same month, but you don't have to be an author to read and give feedback, and authors don't have to limit their feedback just to the stories assigned to them. You can check out the guidelines for participation here, and you can participate in the discussion surrounding the EPWG here, if you'd like.

Authors of all skill levels and interests are welcome (see the guidelines for details); please just make sure you do your best to proofread your submission, and make sure it in some way is related to vore or endo, given the nature of this site.

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Need a little inspiration to help you get started? How about participating in this month's challenge?

The challenge this month is courtesy of AndrewLondon (JFish's is coming up in October): The Silver Screen. Try writing a story inspired by a movie (or TV, for that matter)! Or put a story in the context of a film production (maybe those monster special effects are -too- believable), or - heck - write some fanfic! Think "Hollywood!" and let the automatic writing take over.

Remember, the challenge is completely optional - you are free and encouraged to post a story that has nothing to do with this month's challenge.

DEADLINES:
All submissions for September must be posted in this topic by 11:59pm, Monday, September 7th.
All critiques for September must be posted in this topic by 11:59pm, Wednesday, September 30th.

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This month's submissions:

Title/Summary: Mouse: Impossible. A group of highly trained mice are perfectly suited to some kinds of industrial espionage. However, an ill-advised return visit gives them more trouble than they anticipated, and they are called on to use all their wits just to survive.
Rating and Classification: Heavily Macro/micro, FF/mf. Soft oral, bit of gore, bit of crushing. "Phone vore"
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974&start=30#p503492

Title/Summary: It's the final vore scene from my story Minish Plaything, a Zelda based fan-fic starring Link, Din, and Nayru (their oracle forms). In short, Din wanted to mess with Link so she shrunk him, but when she went out for a few minutes, Link fell into Nayru's caring hands. Too bad he lied to her on how he was transformed, and when Din came to reclaim Link, she lied as well. This could burn them in the future--and possibly Nayru's stomach!
NOTE: This whole story is a "Sequel" or branch off of Hero Sandwich by ChaosEmerald2. The original work can be found on his DA page.
Rating and Classification: There is soft oral vore and mild digestion. Not much else to be said.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974&start=15#p502534

Title/Summary: Collecting Her Catch - A pizza delivery guy making his last delivery of the night runs into someone from his past, and the best night of his life suddenly turns into the worst.
Rating and Classification: Contains nudity, sex, oral sex, F/M and soft oral vore.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974&start=15#p500997

Title/Summary: The Many Journeys of Ian Scranton, Chapter 2
Ian Scranton meets Hollani, an Arari fairy who has sworn off eating flesh. Well, technically...
(Note: Chapter 1 and 2 have both been heavily altered since the last EPWG entry was posted. It may be worth looking back at Chapter 1 to see why things have changed here.)
Rating and Classification: There is unbirth, extra soft vore, and even a fight between fairies. Essentially: FF/M, fairies and plant women as preds with one human male as prey.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974&p=500962#p499767

Title/Summary: The first story of a cannibal/dolcett series set in my perverse little world, except with frog-men as the meat-eaters instead of humans. A large group of female diplomats arrive in a hot, humid country ruled by frogmen called grenoils. Their purpose is to experience grenoil customs. However grenoils raise and butcher women, "piglets," for food! The diplomats are supposed to be safe, as are tourists, but... already the seeds of "mistakes" are being sown in this first chapter.
Rating and Classification: soft grenoil/woman vore, fleeting public human sex, grenoil/woman sex, butchering/meat preparing scene, beheading, pheremonal lust, heavy sweating.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974&p=500962#p499742

Title/Summary: Peeping Brat. /Kid learns that girls have more than one feeling about boys.
Rating and Classification: Warning: sexual situation. F/M Same-size human naive unwilling.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974#p494034

Title/Summary: Imaginary Dragons. Written on a lark this month based on a dream based on a story at FA based on a Christmas present! A bit of Sword and Sorcery fantasy aiming at a different take on dragons.
Rating and Classification: Rated R for some coitus interruptus and some gore. F/mm hard vore.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=18974#p493329

[4ofSwords]

To enter this month, just read the first post to make sure you know what's going on, and fill out a copy of this template in your own post!

Instructions: Copy or quote this post when you post your submission. Everything in bold should stay, and everything not in bold should be deleted or replaced. Attach your submission as an .rtf or .doc or .txt or .pdf, or post a link. If you link off-site, make sure it's publicly accessible (no password-protection) and isn't swarming with ads or is poorly-formatted.

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Answer with how you prefer to be called in posts. (Example: 4ofSwords)
Your writing library URL(s): (Example: http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=102910)
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? (They're only 1127 words. Consider them good preparation for your reading assignment.)
Have you proofread your own story? (Yes is the only good answer!)

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Let us know a little something about the story. Make this part compelling to help you get readers! (Example: Spider Woman. She's a science experiment gone wrong. He's from some shadowy government agency. He … err, the other 'He'... is dinner! Lust, intrigue, and plenty of spidery vore and cocooning!)
Word Count: Give an accurate, discrete, positive integer. There is no hard limit to word count, but stories assigned readers aren't responsible for more than the first 2000 words or so, and stories over 5000 words should be considered for breaking into smaller chapters.
Rating and Classification: Let us know what kind of vore and how much. Be sure to let us know if there is sex, gore, scat, digestion, etc., since those tend to be the major touchpoints. (Example: Rated “R” for descriptive nudity, sexiness, and naughty words. Contains F/M spidery (oral/vampiric) vore.)
Type of Critique Preferred: Do you want it harsh or gentle? In-depth, or impressionistic? Are you looking for the reader to pay special attention to technique, or to grammar, or to style? (Example: Harsh/honest critique is preferred. Tell me what you liked or didn't, or what took you out of the reading experience. Specific examples preferred.)
Questions for the Readers: If there's anything in particular you want the reader to think about or answer, here's your chance! (Example: Was her monologuing a bit much?)

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: Tell us what you'd prefer to read or not to read. (Example: I like sentient female preds. I dislike scat, pain, and cockvore. I will read anything from Pokemon fanfic to the scenes that make Larry Flint blush.)
Critiquing Style: What kind of a critic are you? (Example: I'm a pretty harsh critic who is easily hung up by bad spelling and punctuation. I'm handy at suggesting alternative wording/plot points, etc.)

Don't forget to attach your writing!

[4ofSwords]

Wow! I'm surprised no-one else has posted for September yet!

I was originally planning on posting the sequel to Jack and Jacquie this month, which - since it's written around a spoof of Star Wars - would have been perfect for this month's theme, but... well, by the 21st I was only a quarter of the way into the story and at 15k words, and that's not good for anyone. So, here instead is something nice and short and recent!

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: 4ofSwords
Your writing library URL(s): http://4ofswords.com
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Not only do I agree, I concur.
Have you proofread your own story? Yes! And so have a few other people.

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Imaginary Dragons. Written on a lark this month based on a dream based on a story at FA based on a Christmas present! A bit of Sword and Sorcery fantasy aiming at a different take on dragons.
Word Count: 2406! Hooray - it's short! Now whoever gets assigned has to read every last word.
Rating and Classification: Rated R for some coitus interruptus and some gore. F/mm hard vore.
Type of Critique Preferred: Tell me what you think! Hopefully you think mostly good things! But please point out any typos or room for improvement you see.
Questions for the Readers: Does the end make sense?

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: I will read what needs to be read.
Critiquing Style: I tend to be pretty detailed in my critique and pretty honest with my reaction, but I look for balance.

Don't forget to attach your writing!
You can find it here: http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=174897

[Gentle_Grounds]

If I weren't so lazy...

[4ofSwords]

If I weren't so lazy...

Bah! Post one of the stories you've already written, just to try it out! Then the only real work you have to do is read and review the three stories you're assigned.

[Gentle_Grounds]

Meh, I checked it out. It's alright. I see a few, "Don't show off with a thesaurus" posts. I always had a problem with opinions that believe you're trying to impress people, rather than understanding that one may very well use those words offline -- I know I use "big words" in public, and it rolls off my tongue naturally. I love words, probably a little more than usual...I scare...er...more like weird out some people. I love how they look on paper, I love how the letter "b" has a bulge, and the letter "c" curves.

....cheah.

My stories contain a variety of words in them. For example, instead of using "laughed" all the time after a character is humored, I'll use the words, "guffawed" and "chortled". If there's one thing that's a pet peeve of mine regarding stories in general is when the writer uses a single word repetitively. Now, there's a difference when people are using a word they don't understand for example, "Tanya was flummoxed after Charley told her a good joke." Why would a person be flummoxed after a good joke that they understood? The word, flummoxed is another word for confused, or bewildered.

I apologize if I'm ruining this thread as I'm just making an observation.

[KavenBach]

Well, you need only specify that such is your writing style and you wish reviewers to look at the other aspects. That's why there's the "Type of Critique preferred" section.

There is also such a thing as too much variety. Sure you can say laugh, snicker, chortle, guffaw, even a snort or bark of laughter, but most people, sadly, have the reading aptitude of eight-year-olds. Particularly on the Internet. While there's nothing inherently wrong with using a different word each time, often it's that, and not the story itself, which will make readers stop, well, reading. Sometimes to give your stuff more generalized appeal you have to dumb it down a little...

[bela]

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Bela
Your writing library URL(s): none
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes.
Have you proofread your own story? Yes.

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Peeping Brat. /Kid learns that girls have more than one feeling about boys.
Word Count: 845.
Rating and Classification: Warning: sexual situation. F/M Same-size human naive unwilling.
Type of Critique Preferred: Does it grab your imagination and make the impossible seem possible?

I attach the file "Peeping Brat.txt"

[4ofSwords]

Title/Summary: Peeping Brat.

Welcome to the group, bela! Should we take it that do don't really have any reading preferences?

[bela]

Oh! Thank you for your welcome and for your lead in this interesting group, 4ofSwords.
I had deleted those items because I didn't think anyone would care. Sorry - now I will complete the required form:

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: F/M or F/F same-size human. I dislike cruelty and M/_.
Critiquing Style: Although I have thanked and encouraged other contributors, I haven't critiqued in this forum. I suppose I should because it might encourage new writers like me. But I'm not interested in critiquing grammar - only whether the story knocks my socks off.

[Tobedumped]

Good news-- I started working weeks ago on a submission for this month. I came up with inspiration from the movie theme and started something that I think is different and fun.

Bad news-- I don't have an ending or even a general direction for an ending. It might be a partial submission from me this month.

[KavenBach]

Hmm... what would you folks think of a vore/carni/cannibal story...?

[4ofSwords]

Hmm... what would you folks think of a vore/carni/cannibal story...?

Works for me!

[4ofSwords]

Oh! Thank you for your welcome and for your lead in this interesting group, 4ofSwords.

You're very welcome! One more question, by the way, after I looked over your story. Should we mark it as "underaged" by forum standards, or can we assume everyone involved has hit that magical age of 18? Some of the folks here at the group won't read stories with underaged characters.

Thanks!

[4ofSwords]

Good news-- I started working weeks ago on a submission for this month. I came up with inspiration from the movie theme and started something that I think is different and fun.

Bad news-- I don't have an ending or even a general direction for an ending. It might be a partial submission from me this month.

That's not terribly bad news. Maybe you can try out the infamous writing by consensus! <grin>

[KavenBach]

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: KavenBach
Your writing library URL(s): http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=70290
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? YESSS.
Have you proofread your own story? Yes. A couple times and edits have already been made. But this IS a work in progress.

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: The first story of a cannibal/dolcett series set in my perverse little world, except with frog-men as the meat-eaters instead of humans. A large group of female diplomats arrive in a hot, humid country ruled by frogmen called grenoils. Their purpose is to experience grenoil customs. However grenoils raise and butcher women, "piglets," for food! The diplomats are supposed to be safe, as are tourists, but... already the seeds of "mistakes" are being sown in this first chapter.

Word Count: Last I checked, it was 7,738 words, but with small add-ins might as well say it's 8,000 words.
Rating and Classification: soft grenoil/woman vore, fleeting public human sex, grenoil/woman sex, butchering/meat preparing scene, beheading, pheremonal lust, heavy sweating.

Type of Critique Preferred: Say whatever you feel is appropriate. Bear in mind this is my first attempt at a butchering-type storyline and even this chapter is very much a work in progress. Some details may be added (for example, I've noted that not once yet have I described a female grenoil).
Questions for the Readers: while I was hoping to geat as much of the description of the setting done in this chapter, was there too much of it to keep your attention? Or maybe you would prefer even more? Should I explain anything mentioned in here more fully (Amazoria, or grenoil lifestyle, or whatever)?
YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: No descriptive scat, no underage, no M/M, as much as possible no furries.
Critiquing Style: I tend to jot down things that strike me as I read the story. If something doesn't make sense to me I'll say so. If something strikes me as particularly keen or creative I will say so as well. I try to balance my critiques. Terrible spelling and grammar hurt my brain badly and ruin the reading experience for me.
Don't forget to attach your writing! Here she is. Attached and ready for your pleasure.

http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=176185

[Jacquelope]

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Le Jacquelope, aka Le Jacq
Your writing library URL(s): http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=155866
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes
Have you proofread your own story? Yes, this is actually a major revision.

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: The Many Journeys of Ian Scranton, Chapter 2
Ian Scranton meets Hollani, an Arari fairy who has sworn off eating flesh. Well, technically...
(Note: Chapter 1 and 2 have both been heavily altered since the last EPWG entry was posted. It may be worth looking back at Chapter 1 to see why things have changed here.)

Word Count: 5771
At 2000 words, Ian has already been unbirthed.

Rating and Classification: There is unbirth, extra soft vore, and even a fight between fairies. Essentially: FF/M, fairies and plant women as preds with one human male as prey.

Type of Critique Preferred: Sock it to me!

Questions for the Readers: What do you think of the chapter title? I'm working on better titles. Are Ian's reactions a bit more... plausible?

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: I prefer human/elf/fairy female preds but will tolerate furries. I absolutely avoid stories with underaged participants. I prefer to avoid scat and yaoi but if I have to choose between that and underaged stuff I'll read the latter.

Critiquing Style: I'm a big picture guy. I tend not to bother with spelling errors unless they're way too numerous or really distracting. Except for my stories - if you see them then please tell me!

The story can be found at: http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=172178

[4ofSwords]

Howdy, all! There's less than a week left to post your submission for September, the seventhest of all months! (Well, except maybe July.)

If you're a regular, whatcha waiting for?

If you're just considering joining for the first time - <grin> Whatcha waiting for? PM me or reply in thread if you have any questions or have a concern or two for the group. I suppose it's not right for everyone, but it is right for lotsa ones.

[Tiaji]

ABOUT YOU:
Your name: Tiaji
Your writing library URL(s): http://aryion.com/g3/showgallery.php?id=171281
Have you read the rules and guidelines, and do you agree to them? Yes, I have.
Have you proofread your own story? Yes.

YOUR POST:
Title/Summary: Collecting Her Catch - A pizza delivery guy making his last delivery of the night runs into someone from his past, and the best night of his life suddenly turns into the worst.
Word Count: 4653
Rating and Classification: Contains nudity, sex, oral sex, F/M and soft oral vore.
Type of Critique Preferred: I ask that you be courteous and respectful, but also honest. I prefer long critiques that are as in depth as possible. I like to know what the reader liked and disliked. I would like to know what you thought of my description, dialogue, and characters in particular.
Questions for the Readers: Did you think there was enough character development for Paul?

YOUR READING LIST:
Rating and Classification Preferred: I have a strong dislike for hard vore, graphic digestion, and scat. I prefer stories that involve human or humanoid predators. Other than that, I'm pretty open. I like many kinds of vore, I can handle any gender combination, and I'm fine with sexual content.
Critiquing Style: I don't critique things very often, so I'm not sure I really have a style. I will to be as honest and helpful as I can, while still being courteous and respectful, just like I ask my critics to be.

Don't forget to attach your writing! http://aryion.com/g3/showitem.php?id=176230

[4ofSwords]

Word Count: I hate to ask, but could someone do this for me?

4653, including the title. The return of Ms. Laudo! Hooray!