First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

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First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

Postby giantessfanx » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:24 pm

I've done several stories on my DA page, but this story is the first I've done on Eka's. I was going to post it on my userpage, but I have no idea how. So I'll put it up here for now. Please tell me what you think, and if you have suggestions please post them here as well :-D


The Club
Amanda sighed in exhaustion as she stepped out of her car. She never had fun at the university; everyone called her a nerd because of her glasses, and her only friend went to another school. Katrina was Amanda’s best, and only, friend; the only day she didn’t at least call Amanda was the first of the month. Since it was the first of the month Amanda was surprised to see Katrina at her door as she got out of her car. “Hi Katrina, I didn’t expect to see you today.” Amanda said cheerfully as she came to the door, noticing a package wrapped in brown paper in her friend’s arms. “Hey, Amanda! I thought you got out later. Ah well, now I can give this to you in person.” Katrina replied before handing Amanda the package. “After tonight our little schedule is going to have a hefty makeover.” Amanda opened the package to find bright purple clothing inside, she was about to ask Katrina what it all was, but Katrina had vanished.

Amanda brought the package inside and laid the contents on her bed. The suit inside had two pieces; the bottom piece was fairly short skirt with pantyhose of a slightly darker purple, and the top piece was best described as a bra the same color as the skirt. Amanda then noticed the note in the paper the package was delivered with.

Dear Amanda, I know you’ve always been curious about where I go every first of the month. Well tonight you have the chance to find out. I belong to, shall we say, an exclusive club; I was able to pull a few strings and they’re willing to accept you. This is the uniform we wear, if you chose to join you’ll find out why. You can put something over the top to keep decent in public, but you’ll have to take that off so it’s just the official top when we get to the meeting place. I’ll be coming by your place at 7:00 tonight, if you want to come be in the uniform and outside. Hope to see you tonight!
~Katrina


It was too tempting to pass up. Amanda always did wonder what was so enthralling or important to Katrina on the first of every single month since they met back in high school. “How does that girl always know what size clothes to get me?” she wondered as she slipped into the uniform. She took a moment to look at herself in the mirror when she finished. “Wow, I look good in this.” Amanda said as she posed.


7:00 would come soon; the sun had set almost an hour ago and Amanda pulled her coat tighter against her body to combat the chilly autumn wind that tossed her brown hair around like whips. As Amanda’s watch hit 7:00 Katrina’s car pulled up. “Katrina’s Cab Service, we would you like to go?” Katrina joked as she opened the car door, “Amanda, you look good in that skirt.” “So do you. I like what you’ve done with your hair.” Amanda replied as she got in and buckled up, noticing that Katrina’s reddish hair was now in a ponytail.

“Alright Amanda, remember those dirty little secrets we kept back in high school?” Katrina asked as she drove. “The one’s we promised to take to the grave? Yeah, I remember those.” Amanda answered. “Well this club is like those, except about a thousand fold. The biggest rule of our little club is: You don’t tell a soul, living or dead, outside the club about the club. The only time we can talk about the club, is where we’re in a place we know is perfectly private.” Katrina said, in a seriousness Amanda never heard from her before.


“Here we are.” Katrina said as she parked the car on the curb of spooky mansion at the edge of town. “Somehow this isn’t a big surprise. Secretive clubs usually do go for abandoned places like this for meetings.” Amanda said as she and Katrina got out of the car. “Actually Amanda, this is our… club leader’s place. She likes the privacy places like this offers. The stories about it scare off little children, and the outward appearance deters adults.” Katrina explained as she led her friend to the front door. Katrina knocked on the large wooden doors and they waited. A few moments later a tall Latino lady wearing the same bright purple outfit opened the door, “Come in. Good to see you again Katrina.” “Hey Julia, good to see you again too. This is my friend Amanda; Amanda this is Julia.” Katrina said introducing the two. “Ah the new girl, welcome.” Julia said, shacking Amanda’s hand, “Everyone’s downstairs, we’d best not keep them waiting.”

Julia led Katrina and Amanda through the halls of the mansion, then down a flight of stairs, then another hallway before a second set of stairs. When they reached the bottom they came to a heavy wooden door with no doorknob. Amanda was about to ask how they were going to get in when Julia stepped closer to the door and whispered something. Amanda couldn’t make out what Julia said, but whatever it was made the door open. Inside was a room made of stone lighted by torches of blue fire hanging from the walls. In the center of the room was a rectangular table; six equal sized chairs lined each of the long sides, a smaller chair was on the short side of the table closest to the new arrivals, and on the far end of the table was a throne-like chair. Four other girls were seating in four of the chairs on the long ends, leaving two open seats that Amanda assumed were meant for Katrina and Julia. “I guess I sit in the small one.” She said. “Only for a couple months, after that you’ll get one of the better chairs.” Katrina answered as all three of them sat down.


Amanda felt as though everyone was staring at her as she sat in the chair. “So when’s the club’s leader going to be here?” She asked Katrina, who thankfully was seated in the chair to her right. “You’ll know Amanda. Guinevere always arrives in interesting ways.” Katrina replied with a smile. And she didn’t have to wait long. There was a small bang and a puff of smoke and a woman appeared. She was incredibly beautiful; her silvery hair was so long that it almost touched the floor. She wore the skirt, bra, and leggings the other girls wore, but her outfit also included a pair of lacy gloves that nearly reached her shoulders, with long ribbons tied to her wrists and to the back of her top. The woman opened her eyes and Amanda saw how green they were, a sparkling green that not even emeralds could match. Katrina was right; Guinevere certainly knew how to make an entrance.

“Welcome back ladies.” Guinevere greeted the other girls as she sat down, “And, of course, welcome to our new arrival.” “Th- thank you.” Amanda said, nervous now that all eyes in the room were on her. “Tell us a bit about yourself dear.” Guinevere invited. Amanda nervously stood up, “Well, my name is Amanda Michaels. I’m currently going to Mt. Rayson University, and I like watching sunsets on the beach.” During the next few minutes the other girl introduced themselves to Amanda. It came to Guinevere’s turn, “I’m sure you already know my name, thanks to young Miss Katrina. But what you don’t know about me is that I’m a fifteen-hundred year old sorceress.”

Amanda was silent for a moment then stood up. “I’m sorry; I didn’t come here to be teased. I get more than enough of that at the university.” She said before heading for the door. “Hey Newbie, show some respect!” one of the girls shouted angrily. “It’s alright girls. I’m sure Amanda meant no harm. Remember, you all had your doubts when you came to your first meeting.” Guinevere said calmingly as Katrina got up to lead Amanda back. Several of the girls muttered about the truth of Guinevere’s statement as Katrina lea Amanda up to Guinevere’s chair. “It is a good thing that you don’t believe me without proof Amanda. It’s a sign of intelligence that’s far too uncommon in this modern world. Allow me to show you that I speak the truth.” Guinevere said as she placed her fingertips on Amanda’s temples. Amanda didn’t understand the words Guinevere spoke; likely they were magic words for some spell. Amanda blinked and the world went blurry.

Amanda felt Guinevere’s hands come off her head; tentatively she reached up to her glasses. She brought them away from her eyes and the room returned to focus. Amanda put her glasses back on and took them off again several times before she believed what she was seeing, she was seeing! “I’m sorry I doubted you.” she said breathlessly to Guinevere. Guinevere smiled, “Consider it, and these, an initiation gift.” She said, handing Amanda a case, “These glasses are like you old ones, but they’re not corrective lenses. These will help you determine who the more shallow people of your life are.”


“Well girls, now it is time for one of the more cherished parts of our monthly gathering.” Guinevere announced as Amanda returned to her seat. Amanda saw that the other girls were excited, but she didn’t have a clue what about. “Amanda, as our newest member the honor falls upon you this month.” Guinevere said. Amanda wasn’t sure what to do. “It’s simple Amanda; just tell us someone you’ve wanted to get back at for something, or someone you want to have some special fun with.” Julia said.
“Well…” Amanda said after some quick thinking, “For some time now, I’ve wanted to do some nasty things to Paul Youngfield.” At that moment there were excited mutterings between everyone but her, Katrina and Guinevere. “She’s starting big.” She heard one of the girls say. “Did I say something wrong?” Amanda asked as she blushed. “No sweetheart, you’ve done nothing wrong.” Guinevere said with a reassuring smile. “It’s just that many of us have wanted to choose Youngfield for this, but we never could because of the rules and what we wanted to do.” One of the girls explained. “So what did he do to you? Stand you up? Leave the restaurant without pay for his meal?” Another girl asked. “Actually, back in high school, he asked me to the prom as a joke. I didn’t find out about it until I got there.” Amanda said holding back tears. There was a loud gasp from all there girls, and Guinevere eyes widened in surprise, before there were many angry words from the other girls, even a “Ese hijo de perra!” from Julia. “After tonight, everyone’s going to look up to you with envy and awe, Amanda.” Katrina said, almost with pride. “All will be revealed to you soon Amanda.” Guinevere said before Amanda could ask anything. She chanted for a moment, and then Paul appeared on the table in front of Amanda, only about three inches tall, asleep, wearing nothing except a pair of boxers floating in a column of light.

Amanda was stunned, “What do I do with him?” She asked. “Almost anything you want.” Julia said. “There are, of course, guidelines that must be followed.” Guinevere said sternly. “I’ve changed many things from the cult this was back in my day, but the one rule I made sure was permanent throughout was no death is allowed during this segment of our gatherings; unless certain requirements are fulfilled.” “What sort of requirements?” Amanda asked, silently hoping they were easy to fill.
“Firstly, the chooser must have a valid reason. His humiliating you qualifies. Secondly, at least five others must have a valid reason for wishing the end of the chosen.” Guinevere said. “The second requirement is where everyone’s wish came up flat. Since Gwen and I don’t know him, except for what we’ve been told, we don’t have a valid reason.” Katrina explained. “So you were always one short.” Amanda concluded. “Until now.” Guinevere said before she snapped her fingers. The column of light vanished and the shrunken Paul fell to the table.


Amanda watched with nearly bestial desire as Paul woke. “What the Hell!?” he shouted as he stood up, “How’d I fall out of bed, I was sleeping on the floor!” “Hey Paul, remember me?” Amanda asked with an evil grin. It was so amusing to her to see Paul gawking like a fish out of water as he tried to speak. “How ‘bout the rest of us, you bastard? You recognize the rest of us?” Julia asked. “It’s not a dream little guy,” Katrina said to him, “You really are tiny in the presence of many of the girls you made pretty mad in the past.”

“And now it’s time for some payback.” Amanda said darkly as she grabbed the tiny Paul. “Whoa Amanda, wait! I’m sorry about the joke, that’s all it was, a joke!” Paul pleaded. “After all these years, you think a little apology is going to make it all better?” Amanda demanded, “This isn’t kindergarten Paul.” With that said, she put Paul into her mouth. And after a few moments of swishing him around, she swallowed. “You ate him!? Aw man, I wish I thought of that! I was just gonna step on him if I got the chance.” One of the girls exclaimed.


The evening continued on well into the nighttime hours. “I think I’m going to fit in just fine.” Amanda thought happily as she felt Paul struggling in her stomach.
Last edited by giantessfanx on Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
What did I do to deserve being eaten? Oh yeah... that.
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Re: First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

Postby Drake_451 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:59 pm

Nice work! :)
My current avatar is courtesy of ArcaneScholar, thanks again. :)

My Smash Bros. Brawl vore thread:
viewtopic.php?f=18&t=13756&hilit=brawl
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Re: First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

Postby sharkdude40 » Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:48 pm

A very well written story and an inventive ending. Bravo, the only thing that was off was a few spelling mistakes but everyone makes those so no biggie. :D
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Re: First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

Postby Gentle_Grounds » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:18 am

I'd say more paragraph breaks.
"The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach."
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Re: First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

Postby Sparky » Wed Nov 04, 2009 4:00 pm

Hey, it's a nice start--but the ending is really rushed. All that lead up, and the vore takes two sentences? You write well, so why not flesh that part--the BEST part--out a lot? Right now it seems like it's just an afterthought.

Keep going! :)
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Re: First story on Eka's (F/m soft vore) Please Comment

Postby giantessfanx » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:15 pm

Sparky wrote:Hey, it's a nice start--but the ending is really rushed. All that lead up, and the vore takes two sentences? You write well, so why not flesh that part--the BEST part--out a lot? Right now it seems like it's just an afterthought.

Keep going! :)


Now that you mention it, that part could use some more "meat" to it
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